*It is really difficult to *ehem* CONCENTRATE when your cat starts moaning and having freaky animal love outside your window when you are getting early morning action. It also doesn’t help when your partner keeps telling you he “Hates your damn cat”.
*I have to keep Christopher from wearing his bowtie, vest and suit jacket to school. We go through it every day. I think I am raising a combination of Alex P. Keaton and Felix Unger. Sigh.
*My friend, Chelly, is back from a spa-weekend in Arizona with a good friend that moved last year. She had a great time and despite the airline losing her luggage when there were only TEN PASSENGERS on a direct flight from Phoenix to Salt Lake City, she returned to us a sexy(Yet crispy and sunburned) babe. RAWR!
I took her out for lunch and a spin in my new car. I feel so sorry for all of you that you can’t have a totally hot BFF like me. It rocks. (I have to go run and hide now. Chelle is also freakishly strong and I have a feeling she may open up a can of Pioneer WhoopAss on me after that.)
*Have you ever been weird enough to wonder what it is like to see me get dressed? Well, here you go: In the words of my “Diva Dress Fluffer”. I would like to thank all the little people….
*My parentâ€™s 50th wedding anniversary is going to kill me. Seriously? SERIOUSLY. If that doesn’t the flipping reunion they are forcing me to attend the month after that surely will.
*My video “Dancing in Cache Valley” is getting more attention. If I had known it would be in the paper and posted around so much I probably would have worn a different outfit and brushed my hair. Sigh.
*Having a gym stalker SUCKS. If I am there at the same time as a particular woman, my workout is totally screwed. She has followed me into very *PRIVATE* moments to announce that she “Left me gym towels by my clothes”. I know that sounds nice, but my hell, I just want to be left alone to sweat and grunt in peace, ok????
After looking around for adjoining treadmills for forever, Bridgy and I finally found two. I had just started running when I felt tugging on my arm. It was her. OMG. She kept harping and harping (I kept saying “I can’t run and talk”) Finally, I had such a side ache I just said screw it. I only had a 10-minute workout. UNLESS YOUR NAME IS BRIGITTE , DON’T FREAKING TALK TO ME WHEN I’M RUNNING! (Ok, you can if you are Christian Bale. Or as hot as Christian Bale. If not, f-off.)
*I was feeling pretty great about being adventerous and brave by really liking an octopus salad served in a local sushi restaurant. I totally love the taste of it and I don’t get grossed out by the octopus becuase it is usually chopped into really small pieces so it is manageable. I found out the hard way that when the restaurant is slammed, they don’t chop up the octopus, but serve it cut in big wedges. It still tasted great but all I could think is “Oh my hell. This looks like a vagina with suction cups.” Tends to put a damper on the appetite. EWE.
*My sons love my car. I’m glad. They deserve to have some nice things. They are very good boys that aren’t vain, or spoiled. Just really good kids and I’m happy that they like it so much.
*Now that I have praised them, I can say that they often make me rip my hair out.
You know that you are in for a piece of crap evening when your son comes home and says “I know you are going to hate me, but I have a history project on West Virginia due tomorrow.”
Ulcers suck. The suck six ways from Sunday. They also suck a duck, a goose and also a turkey.
*You know what else sucks? Missing submitting your forms for hot lunch and knowing that you will be packing lunchfor your kids every day in April. That SUCKS.
Sweet Dreams, everyone.