Loralee is a very unusual name. There are times that I think that my parents must have been smokin’ too much Metamucil when they named me, but there it is.
I wish I could say that my name meant something amazing and honorable.
I’m the chick that sings on the rocks and then lures in unsuspecting navy guys to their immanent death and destruction.
Pretty fitting name, actually.
I grew up never having my name belong to anyone else. I never had my name on a bicycle license plate or key chain, and I didn’t meet another Loralee until college, and then it was always spelled differently.
The asshole I dated in college hated my name. He was forever pestering me to “At least” spell my name differently. Because then maybe he could stand to be seen with someone who spelled her name “Laura Leigh”. Those 5 different letters would somehow make me a more acceptable girlfriend, I suppose.
I actually love my name in a weird way. I suppose that it is because it is one of the few true possessions that I have and will always have. You can’t put a price on it. For all the damage I bring to myself and my name, I still find things to admire and be proud of.
I love the fact that Loralee Christiansen has found my blog. The fact that she found Looney Tunes by Googling herself at 4 am just speaks to my soul. She is the first true, “Loralee” that I have known. I love that she calls me “Thing One” and I call her, “Thing Two”. It is damn strange sometimes to see my name on all the blogs that we both visit. Sometimes I have to do a double take and remind myself that, no, that is the OTHER Loralee.
In order to get my mind off of some things, I decided to play around on Google a bit.
Wow. The Loralee’s of the world?
Not so much.
What a wierd lot we are.
A $1.99 bargin-book Mormon romance novelist.
This author edited a book on how to tell your friends you are gay. I suppose after you read this you are supposed to be able pull off such a moment as coming out with the same ease this title suggests: “Hey, I’ve been meaning to tell you that we are out of toilet paper. Oh, and I’m gay. “Not only are there Loralee authors, but also Loralee CHARACTERS:“When Loralee arrived at Fort Apache as the new schoolmarm, she had some hard realities to learn..and a harsh taskmaster to teach her. Shad Zuniga was fiercely proud, aloof, a renegade Apache who wanted no part of the white man’s world, not even its women. Yet Loralee was driven to seek him out, compelled to join him in a forbidden union, forced to become an outcast for one slim chance at LOVE FOREVERMORE.”
It got a little interesting when I found my name at churchofsatan.com.
Satanic Witch Baphomet
” We are so blessed to have Loralee! She finally got here Wednesday about 4:00 PM. The kids are in love with her. She is so gentle and never seems to mind them brushing and petting her. I am so amazed how different her temperament is from a horse. We are thrilled with Loralee.”
This Loralee in Australia discovered a $300,000 hunk of Whale vomit on the beach.
What a bunch of weirdo freaks we are. Obviously, something is going to have to be done about all of this. I mean, come ON people! We should have enough pride in ourselves to be stellar humans that give “Loralee” a proud heritage. Enough of this whale vomit, 1890′s Indian reservation, and having donkey’s named after us! The Loralee’s of the world need to unite to make our name a whole heck-of-a-lot less lame.
What? Days of our Life is on and go the hell away?
I suppose it will be up to Thing Two and I to make sure that there are “Non-Lame Loralee’s” on the internet!
Ok. Point taken. I suppose it will be up to THING TWO to be the “Non-Lame Loralee” on the internet. Sigh.