Morning sex.
It is a complicated issue.
At the beginning of a relationship, when you are either having sex with your partner 24-7 or THINKING about having sex with your partner 24-7, morning sex is never even an issue.
You are animals that paw each other all the time, going at it from the first flutter of conciousness. In fact, there are some guys where conciousness is more of an option than a requirement.
Then, time passes. While still attractive to each other, the sex evens off to a more normal pace. This is essential to preservation of the female vagina. It just isn’t built to take that kind of constant assault.
As the relationship progresses, children (Or pets) may enter into the picture. Time seems to become a scacer commodity, sleep becomes important, your body hurts, your head aches and you just feel emotionally decroded from your children introducing you to “Bity” and “Snaky” the garden snakes by putting them on your shoulder.
When your preferred times of sex are different, there can be unspoken disagreements about when and where to copulate. Sleep is an issue. Waking up every morning feeling like you have been thrown from a train and then run over by a tractor is also an issue.
To be desired all the time is a powerful thing. Even though, sleep is prized and usually chose, there is just something dead sexy about feeling a hand slide over your abdomen, having your neck nuzzled and getting, “Mornin’ sexy”, whispered in your ear.
Then comes the moment of decision. It’s totally up to you. Pressure would never happen, you are lucky to have a partner who leaves it completely up to you.
You have a patient partner. You try to be good in return. You try and do things like buy hot, red underware and wear it under a coat to his office, find exciting and random places to go at it and love it when he buys you toys. You could be good in this instance, right?
Even though you had a good long play date last night, you were very in the mood yesterday and it carried over into the morning. So, you decide. You flip over on your back, give a slow, sexy stretch and a sleepy, soft smile.
It’s ON.
You are hot, perfect, and driving him crazy. It is a damn good thing you brushed up on Shakira’s “Hips don’t lie” video at 3 am when you had nothing better to do. You even LOOK good, which is a feat after 3 hours of sleep.
There you are, blissful, yelping and moaning loudly like sea otters, when you hear a muffled laugh outside your open window followed by,
“Ola? Senora?”
I guess Shakira forgot to remind you that this was the morning that contractors are coming to pour your curbing.
I’m only going to ask one question: How many shades of red did you and Jon turn before getting your clothes on?
HA!
I detest morning sex. I can’t help it. Breath is smelly and you just want a shower, coffee and 10 minutes more sleep.
Shakira, huh? I’ll have to check it out.
Kris
That part about assulting viginas made me giggle LOUDLY, Loralee.
My co-workers just looked at me like I was possessed. I’m not much fun at work, I guess.
K–
I can’t stand morning sex, either. I don’t mind it if I have had plenty of sleep, but I am really grouchy first thing in the am.
That would have been so terrible! I can imagine just how…er…passionate you can get.
I bet it made that contractors day, though.
HAHAHAHAHA… I am even embarassed for you. Especially since they stared me down when I brought over coffee the other day. At least they didn’t think it was me. HAHAHA.
morning sex- is overrated. The bad breath prevents any kissing. Don’t get me wrong, it is ALWAYS good, but hm, I’d rather sleep in.
Oh damn!
LMAO! holy crap, you just crack me up.
I just found myself bellowing laughter all alone in my office in an otherwise empty building.
Thanks, Loralee. That was skillfully written
By the way, the morning sex thing is a near universal. That’s the time men are most ready and able; the time women least want to do it. I talked about this with my doctor once when I was still married. He said he’s been hearing the same thing throughout his whole, long career. Women most want it at night; men most want it in the morning.
Men and women aren’t really made for each other. It’s the interesting complementarity of parts that fools us.
lol…Did you match your red-hot underwear? I think I would have rolled off the bed and died.
HA! HA! HA!!! You are too funny for words, so I have been limited to scripting laughing noises…
Excellent. You seriously need to consider a book of short stories. :-)
omfg!
that is hilariously sad!
I would be absolutely mortified.
Did you survive your day trip?
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Well,we used to have morning sex all the time…. Before we got married.