2006 August | loraleeslooneytunes.com

Have you ever received a phone call from someone from your past that makes you wish that you were receiving a Brazilian Bikini Wax from a sweaty, obese man named, Olaf, instead?

That was me today.

I met “Carl” 11 years ago when we were both in the music department.

Because we were in all of the same classes together we became friends. He was about 15 years my senior, but we were friends anyway. It started by him pouring his heart out to me about how his father was killed in a plane crash when he was a teenager.

He was easy to talk to.

Carl also freakishly reminded me a LOT of one of my ex-boyfriends. He was funny, extroverted, musical, talented, flirty, pervy and was often mistaken for a homosexual because he loved doing theater and hung out with girls. They had a similar look and Carl even sounds exactly like my ex on the phone. This caused me a lot of grief over the years because it would take me a moment to realize that it was not my former boyfriend calling me out of the blue.

So, when he called today it was freaky.

I hadn’t talked to or seen him since Matthew’s funeral three years ago.

Why was he calling?

He wanted me to come work for him at his newly-launched concert company.

“Lee, you are the best salesman and coordinator out there. You know the business, you know your stuff. We were a great team, remember?”

YES, I REMEMBER!

Oh, GOD.

No, no, NO!

I’ve talked a bit about my music/opera stuff here. You all have to realize that I got to do a lot of professional work for a student. A diehard professional would go ‘Eh.’ at my resume, but for being so young I got to do plenty. I just don’t want there to be any misconceptions, is all. Luckily for me I realized within about 4-5 years that it was not something I wanted to do with my life. By the time my first son was born I had cut way back on performances outside of the university. However, I still got to see a lot, sing a lot, and work with some awesome symphonies, opera companies and conductors.

After my second son was born, I was very ill from a blood clot and had to withdraw from school (Which is why I have 400 semester credits and no degree. Grrr).
One day, I got a call asking me to come and work for a former music professor that I held in extremely high esteem. I had been his personal secretary for two years at college and now that I was at home he wanted me to come and work at his concert company.

EEEK!

How fun! How exciting! I declined the job at first because I had 2 small children at home.
They were insistent. They would work around my schedule, they just wanted me.

I was so flattered. I knew and liked a lot of the people there. Carl would be one of my bosses and my other boss was a friend that I still love and adore (But who will remain nameless for this post). The owner of the company was my mentor…A conductor that I thought walked on water.

I was damn good at that job. It was perfect for me. I work really well with people, I am musical, I got to sing, I also got to work with directors, conductors, musicians, and travel. I can also be really impressive when you don’t know me personally. It was awesome.

Except.

I could NOT handle what went on there. With the exception of my friend that I still love and one of our inhouse travel agents, everyone there was the epitome of FOUL.

Especially, Carl.

I am a huge, harmless flirt. I was not a girl people drool over. I was asked to exactly two dances in high school. One was my junior homecoming and one was my senior prom and THAT was only because the guy felt sorry for me. Because I spent most of my life as a fat, ugly duckling I am not very good at knowing how to handle men. I know I bring a lot of it on myself, but I freak if men take flirting to another level. I simply don’t know how to handle it. Scares me to death.

I was at a complete loss at how to handle Carl and his increasingly blatant sexual advances. When we were at school he always made his attraction to me clear, but I didn’t take it seriously. I have never had one moment of attraction to him. None. Plus, he was married and I was a lot younger. He also had certain lines he never crossed, so it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. That changed once I started working with him.

It got to the point that directors I worked with began complaining and the work environment was terrible. He was a walking sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen. My other boss finally issued him a huge ultimatum and took over many of his touring responsibilities.

My work experience began to fall apart. Carl dumped a tour to Hawaii with the Honollulu Symphony on my lap ONE WEEK before departure. The structure of it was so botched it was a nightmare. I did my best, but I cannot express to you the hell of that tour.

Usually, tours are worked in teams, but for this one? I was alone.

EVERYTHING went wrong.

I had worked in Hawaii a lot and really loved it, but this trip was so bad that now when I hear ukelale music I feel like my epidermis layer is being peeled off. Even though I worked my ass off to make our clients and the symphony happy, it was still a nightmare from hell. It could have been much worse, but it still sucked because I didn’t coordinate the tour, I just got to deal with the shit hitting me because of the poor way it was organized. I got zero support from Carl and it was his fault that I was put in the position that I was.

There was much more. The amount of lying, cheating, stealing and backstabbing that went on was unbelievable. My revelations about Carl didn’t come all at once, but bit by bit. I still wanted to think good of him. I didn’t even know the full extent of it until recently. It makes me heartsick.

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and I resigned. I found out I was pregnant with Matthew and it seemed like a good time to make a break. My sweet friend that was my other boss refused to accept my resignation. That was hard for me because in the end he was the ONLY thing (Besides the music and the clients) that I liked about the place.

The worst part of this tale? The owner of the company/former professor completely BROKE MY HEART. I looked at him as a father figure for years and years and he turned out to be a completely narcissistic, selfish, mean and egostisitcal person. He brought much unjust heartache and sadness to someone I adore and I don’t think I have ever gotten over the realization that my mentor of years sucked a big ole’ assload.

After I left Carl said very hurtful things about me. He always took things like my decision to leave as a personal affront. He was just angry and foul. I could not believe that Carl came to my son’s funeral.

I found out that a couple of years later Carl and another wench who made life hell there were arrested for embezzlement and the company finally went bankrupt due to severe mismanagement at the beginning of this summer.

To say that I was shocked beyond words that Carl would call me and ask if I wanted to work for him would be a massive understatement. The whole call just made me feel like showering and calling a crisis center.

I guess it should make me feel better that there are people in this world more delusional than me, but really? It just makes me sad.

I’ll have to pass on this, Carl.

Life is hard enough, thanks.