I read such a funny post on Sue’s Blog entitled, “My Child, Lac Lavon“. Sue has such a way with the written word. She cracks me up. A lot. I almost had tears, I tell you.
The post started me thinking about all the names in my life and their impact. Names mean a WHOLE LOT. Especially where I live.
Utah is a freaking name DISASTER. Lac Lavon would fit in quite nicely here.
For such straight-laced people, we have a whole lot of funky goin’ on in the name sector.
Here are some examples of “Utah Names”: Earldean, Odonna, Deverle, O’lea, Delecta,Woodruff,Desereta, Normalene, DeLaVern, LaVannah and Leahona.
My own Aunts and Uncles (The Ents that I love) have unusual names, although I don’t know if this is because they are Mormon or if it is that their parents were just, “Paul” and “Susie”. Maybe it is because they lived in a tiny East Texas community where there wasn’t a lot to do at the turn of the century and they needed some excitement. Who knows?
Ragina
Leotha
Zola Pauline
Ewelle Eugene
Alfred Byron
EvaNell
Louis
Rowen (Who is married to Verdeena)
And my mother. Her first name is Katherine. Does she go by that? Nah. She goes by her middle name, La Ree.
A good friend of mine thought their names were so fabulous she named her two goldfish, “Leotha and Verdeena”
I can’t help but think that all my own siblings have a much better end of the deal than I do:
Rhett
He DOES have the middle name “Ervin” after my grandfather, though. I LOVE Rhett’s name. I would have named James “Rhett”. My last name was, “Burnett”, and people freaked about it, so I had to settle for using it as a middle name.
Melanie
Can you tell my dad has a love of Gone With The Wind? Funnier is my nephew Jeff, married a Margaret. So, she is ‘Margaret Mitchell’. Heh.
Melinda
Hmm. Now that I think about it, I’m not really sure why they named her this…I’ve never heard the story
Bradley
My second boy is Christopher Bradley. I also love the name
Then there are the twins. SIGH.
LORALEE AND LORAINA.
DUDE.
My Dad wanted us to be, “Scarlett” and “Vivian”. My mother put her foot down. Personally, I think either of these names would have suited me better than LORALEE???!?!!!
I bitch, but my twin (Who you will hear about one day) really did get the shaft more than I did.
My sister, Melly HATED the name Loraina. She was only 12 at the time and to appease her, my mom said she could pick which of us got named what. Poor Loraina was born first and COMPLETELY hammered and scary looking, so Melly gave her the name. My mom (Loraina, too, for that matter) were not too happy when they found out.
It probably didn’t help that my brother, Brad, and I found out Loraina HATED the name Rachelle when we were young. Of course, we made up the world’s most annoying taunt to chase her around the house with- “Loraina, Loraina, Loraina Rachelle”. Again, my mother was not pleased. “Don’t you call your sister, Rachelle!”
Last names carry weight as well. My maiden name is, Loralee Mitchell. I married, and became, Loralee Burnett. I married again and am Loralee Choate. I have enjoyed all my names, but “Mitchell” is my favorite. It flows well, and telemarketers don’t ask to speak to Mrs. Chawatay. I also never received ATM cards stamped with “Loralee Goat” as a Mitchell and certainly never had to deal with insurance cards that said, “Jonathan O’Cheet” as a Burnett.
My first husband’s name was Gideon Wedekind Burnett though so we had first name weirdness there. One package came to “GUDON” and that essentially became his nickname in my family.
Wow, that is a good segue into the whole “Nickname” category!
My nicknames say a whole lot about me:
PEE (At least I didn’t get saddled with POO. Loraina really DID get more shafted than me)
Whiner
Whines
The Sister (My brother, Brad, is “The Brother”)
Tsunami (You all get this now, don’t you!)
Baby Girl
She
LoLo
Laurel
Lo
Schlamatzle (For “Accident Prone”)
Rubic’s Cube (My new favorite! Thanks, Tim!)
Jonathan and my children’s nicknames also mean a lot:
James: Caterpillar (He was in a movement class for toddlers (NO IT WAS NOT MODERN DANCE, RHETT!) and I walked into him buried under blankets on the floor. I asked him what he was doing. “Oh, you know…just being a sleepy little caterpillar, momma.” SO CUTE.
He has outgrown it and it has been replaced with “Son” and “Festivus”. They both weirdly suit him.
Christopher: “Christophee” and “Pookey”
Matthew: “Little Bug” which became just “Bug”. Everyone knows how much this name meant to me.
Jonathan is “SweetPea”. He calls me, “Baby Girl”, which I love.
My father also gave us all bizarre nicknames:
Rhett-Rhett Ski and “Bully”. Why? Don’t know…
Melanie-Peach
Linny-Frog
Brad-Bradley Blue Eyes, which was shortened to “Blue”
Loraina-”Loraina M’raina”, “Raina”, “Punzelle” and “Anna Maria Stanzetti” (My.Dad.is.weird)
Loralee- Darlin’ Jill. Which is just “Jill”.
My father names EVERYTHING. Oatmeal cookies are “Gilda’s” if they have Cocoa in them they become “Gorilla’s”.
There was quite a nosy neighbor that used to live in my parent’s neighborhood. My father always, ALWAYS called her “VAL”. One day “Val” made the comment: “I don’t think that your father knows my name isn’t “Val”
ALL of us have more tact than to tell her “Val” is short for “Valkyrie Maiden”.
I have had my share of name intrigue and near disaster.
Jonathan had been trying to date me and I just couldn’t see it happening. THEN. We played a game at my house where you write down answers to questions and someone has to put answers with people.
The Question: What would you name your Estate or Mansion?
NO ONE suspect Jon of having the answer that he did.
“Cordelia”
I laughed my ass off. SO unexpected. I also LOVE “Anne of Green Gables” so not only did I “Get it”, I just laughed and laughed and laughed that he could be so funny, charming and unexpected. It made me look at him in a new light.
As for the near disasters: My first husband wanted to name James “Phineus” from “A Separate Peace”. Two weeks before he was born he gave into “James”. I named our new computer Phineus so that the name would be “Taken”.
I actually did think about naming Matthew, Sebastian, but everyone freaked. Jon wouldn’t let me have my beloved Jack or Oliver. Matthew wasn’t really “GREAT” for either of us, but it was the only male name we both didn’t gag at.
If we ever have a girl, she is LILY. Not even a question.
If we ever have another boy I have no idea WHAT we’ll do.
If only Jon’s uncle hadn’t already used “Raymond Rufus Lancelot Choate”…
